I am a Fraud

Posted Tuesday, November 24, 2015

There was a time, once upon a time when I tried to go an hour without telling a lie. An hour. I couldn’t do it.

I would fail consistently. I wanted people to see me differently or better than I was so I would tell one white lie after another. I justified it with the pressures of work, church, or relationships. Trained in corporate to basically “never let them see you sweat” and certainly to look the part at all times. So, I was a fraud and I was like many men, I was terrified of being found out.

Around the same time, I had committed to register my newly forming coaching business with the county by my October birthday. Problem was, I didn’t have a name. OK. I had heard that starting a business name with the letter “A” was a good strategy because you would generally be listed first in the phone book or yellow pages. I bit. I made a list of all “A” words that could possibly be a business name. The list is very long.

When I saw the word authentic, I was immediately sold. It by no means reflected who I was—but it totally reflected what I wanted more of in the world. It’s no secret that what we rail against in the world (hypocrisy, lack of authenticity) is at the heart of what is going on with ourselves.

At the time, I had no idea how inviting more authenticity into my life would rock my world—over and over again. Truth is, Authentic Development has become just as much a statement about me as it is about my work. It was like the universe saw my business name as a challenge. I imagine a group of spiritual beings looking at me with incredulity, throwing up their hands and saying…”well if that’s what he wants (authenticity), let’s give it to him.”

So the chances to grow my authenticity came like wildfire.   Read More »

Fasting in 2015

Posted Wednesday, November 18, 2015

We were ready.

30 days.

For the purpose of getting to know our God better. For the purpose of feasting on what God wanted to share with us. No food. Only water and vitamins. 

I failed. I made it 4 days. The headaches. The debilitating hunger. The inability to think straight

My partner made it 30 days. I was in awe.

Years later. I sit here still in awe. I can barely go an afternoon without a sweet snack.

Fasting in 2015 is no longer fasting. It's weight loss. It's a way to cleanse your body. It is lemon juice and cayenne pepper. It's about changing our bodies--not about changing our hearts.

At it's core--fasting is about changing your heart. It's noticing the depth of hunger. It's  about noticing what you turn to in order to assuage your sadness about life. What feeds you?

Does your TV feed you? Facebook? Your smart phone? Of course it does. Take a fast. Notice what else feeds you. Notice our desire to control how we are fed.  What would occur if for a weekend you trusted things beyond yourself to feed you? What would you learn?
  Read More »

Now for Something Dramatic: Listening to Nothing

Posted Friday, October 30, 2015

You took the course. You got the T-shirt. Just like me, somewhere along the way, someone taught you how to listen. Active Listening 101, Communication Skills or The Three Levels of Listening. We implemented the skills and voila, it worked. People felt heard. Communication improved.

We missed a step though.

No one taught us how to listen to nothing. How to listen when there are no words. How to listen to what isn’t being said. How to listen to our third, fourth and fiftieth thoughts. How to listen to silence.

Imagine what might be possible here. What could we discover about ourselves if we went 24 hours in silence; if we cut out as much noise as possible and experienced the emptiness of no sound? Imagine what you might notice if you and your family chose to deny yourselves words of any sort for a family meal. Think about a day at the office where you intentionally keep your mouth closed at all times. What would show up for you? What shows up as you even contemplate it?  Read More »

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The Discipline of Risk Taking

Risk taking is a discipline that builds on itself. Soon you are more comfortable with the chance of failure and what truly matters to you pulls into focus.

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