How to Come Alive

Posted Thursday, February 04, 2016



“There are only two things that pierce the human heart. One is beauty. The other is affliction." ~Simon Weil

He's on fire. My client. He's having one real conversation in his life after another. He went to a big event last week intending to be bold and deeply connecting in all of his conversations. He was. He's becoming more alive.

She's excited and scared and happy and worried. My client. For the first time in her life, she's giving herself permission to be herself; to be a jumble of emotions. The phrase "of course I am" is passing her lips and it feels good to simply be. She's becoming more alive.

I'm having a very emotional few weeks. I've spent more time in the last two weeks with my mother than in my entire adult life. It's bringing up all sorts of junk from my past and I'm noticing blind spots that I thought were long gone. I'm grateful to be in it but there is no doubt that I'm struggling. I'm becoming more alive.

This is the real stuff of our lives. Suffering and affliction and beauty. It's real. It's all real. We gotta get at the real stuff if we want to come alive.   Read More »

Your Life is Not A Movie

Posted Wednesday, January 20, 2016

I woke up confused and laughing. My thrilling dream ended with a bunch of my friends trying to drink milk while lying on their backs. Huh? No resolution to the dream. No idea why everyone chose that moment to lie down and drink milk. 

If my dream had been a movie, I would have walked out of the theatre. There was just no making sense of it.

Isn’t that just like my life. If my life was a movie, it would get sent back to script writing over and over again. I was looking at my vision board for 2015 and the realization hit me even harder. I had many plans for 2015 that either just didn’t happen or actually the opposite occurred. 

I’m scratching my head at the reality. I was going to run a Half-Ironman in another country last year. Nope. I was gonna get a promotion at work. Nope. I was gonna teach leadership in Spanish. Nope. Instead, the company I was working for went out of business; their biggest client in upheaval. I ran less than I ever have. I didn’t swim once. And my Spanish skills took a nose-dive.

I suspect your 2015 was much the same. Things came up. Some important things didn’t happen. 

So why did I do it again for 2016? Why did I sit down and spend an evening setting intentions, cutting out magazine photos, and building another vision board that I know will not work out as planned? 

It’s simple: Our lives move in the direction of our thoughts. 
 
It’s about the direction of my heart. The direction of my life. It’s about the other half of things on that 2015 vision board that actually did happen like biking Europe, getting coach certified, falling more deeply in love, and creating other new adventures.   It pointed to what I really wanted more of in this life. It got me dreaming (consciously) about what I truly was committed to. 

Will you join me? Will you do a vision board for 2016?   Read More »

Deciding You Are Loved

Posted Friday, January 15, 2016

It was was the summer of 2001. We were two men taking a break from our spiritual retreat and going for a swim in the lake. 

With all of my fervor, I ran back to my room and got my sad imitation of an iPod and brought it into the lake. I had him listen to the latest song that was messing with my head. The song was called “My Beloved” and it has one simple message—there is nothing for you to do or to earn as a child of god. “You are my beloved,” god says. Over and over again he says it. 

I asked my friend, “What would our lives be like if we actually believed it? Really?”

Two young men baptizing themselves and talking about love. Taking about trusting a force of goodness. Talking about the stuff we all think about but rarely say out loud.

I’m in my mid-40s now and there is one thing I am sure of—I’m not alone with my questions. Men and women are asking the same question in different ways. 

“Am I loved?”
“Am I worthy?”
“Am I enough?”
“Do I have what it takes?”

I say you are. I say you do. 

And it matters. It matters in nearly everything we do. When you can begin to let go of the story that says you must accomplish things in order to be valuable—life changes. Your home life changes. Your work changes. Dare I say that the world changes.

This weekend, I challenge you to choose to believe it. At least for a day. See what occurs. For an even bigger challenge do one of the following (but only if it initially seems impossible):   Read More »




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Solitude and Celebration

The Core Disciplines

This week we will kick-off the the series with a discussion about the two disciplines that set a foundation for how all the disciplines work. Solitude matters because it teaches us how to truly be with ourselves. When we can be aware of our own thoughts and feelings, we can better relate to others. Celebration is complete engagement in what is occurring in that moment. Loving life and experiencing it fully with those around you. Disciplines don't have to be difficult, they just need to be practiced and celebration teaches us to be in community.

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Finding Community
The Discipline of Friendship

Emerson said, "I do not wish to hold friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not like glass threads or frostwork, but the solidest thing we know." Friendship is a discipline of engagement that takes us closer to the better version of ourselves. Treating friendship as a discipline, in my opinion is better than hiring a coach or a therapist. It is to be truly loved and to truly love another human. Please join us.

Right-click on the link and download the recording! The Discipline of Friendship


Practicing Presence in the Now

The Discipline of Presence

Join us as we explore the discipline of living in the now--what many believe is the key element in finding peace. Eckhardt Tolle wrote “As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action.” 

In this session we'll discover how to use this discipline daily, hourly, even moment to moment in order to discover more peace. 

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The Hardest Discipline

Seeking Silence

Join us as we explore experiencing pure silence as a way to truly hear. The discipline of silence is often considered the most difficult in a world filled with noise and voices around every turn. Practicing silence can be as simple as choosing to truly listen or as dramatic as a week-long silence retreat. We will explore the benefits of both and maybe even experience some silence together. 

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Not Getting What You Want Gets You What You Want

The Discipline of Fasting (not just food)

Fasting from food has been considered a discipline for many millennia. Join us as we explore fasting from any and all of the things that keep us from experiencing our true life. 

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Danger High Voltage
Taking Responsibility for Your Choices

The Discipline of Authenticity

Authentic Development could hardly do a webinar series without exploring authenticity and the choice to practice it daily. We believe that the only way to give and receive real love (or any emotion for that matter), is to be real. Authenticity is talked about so much that even the topic has taken on an air of inauthenticity. In this webinar, we'll get back to basics--what does it look like to choose to be real in real moments, day in and day out.

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