“What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly.”
~Lao Tzu

Heading Towards the Pile of Goo

I used to be smart. Really smart. My life depended on it. My inner life anyway. I competed with my classmates in physics and calculus to get the highest score each exam. As a young leader in business, I needed to have the best idea, the best team, the most innovative take on the idea. And I often thought I did.

I had learned as an adolescent that if I knew the right answer, I would garner praise from all the important people in my life. I was told that if I worked hard and got good grades, I would get a good job. I was told I would get promoted if I got the advanced degree or if I knew how to do all the right things better than anyone else. 

This all worked out just as they had said. I was the A student. I got the good job. I got promoted. I led big teams of people. It worked. 

Until it didn’t. 

Imagine my frustration when I discovered that the path to being a better dad wasn't found in a book. Imagine my despair when I discovered that being smart actually seemed to make it harder for me to create love in my life. Imagine how I feared for my livelihood when I discovered that I could be smart and still be fired. This was not supposed to happen. The world had told me that "smart" was the killer app--it was the one strategy that wouldn't let me down. It did.

I submit that this is a moment that comes for most of us in our lives and in our careers. The strategy we have used to find success has stopped working. Some people call this a mid-life crisis, some call it a breakdown, others call it an awakening. I like the word awakening--but it definitely doesn't feel like that. I had never felt more lost in my life.

Here's the bad news--I can't tell you what you need to do when you reach this moment. I certainly didn't know what to do. So I stopped. I let the waves of life wash over me for a bit. I started learning about me. I actually started becoming me instead of trying to figure out who I should be.  

Here's the good news--if you are in this moment in your life or you feel yourself approaching it--you are in for a wonderful ride. You are like the caterpillar heading into the cocoon. If that caterpillar could talk, what would she say as she becomes a pile of goo? That was me—it might be you.

The best news of all is that the you that you have known for your whole life may be on the way out but the next you will be more real, more present, more creative, and more truly successful than you can imagine. 

Do you want to get to know him? Do you want to get to know her? I do.



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You Show Me God

Today the tears came 
Slowly at first
Then in a flood

Being with you

You shared your heart
Trusted another
Trusted me
For the first time

You told the truth
To yourself
For the first time

I’m done wearing a mask
You declared
Done being run with fear

Your tender heart
Your purpose
Your meaning
Your gift
Must be shared

Being with you
I saw me
I saw humanity
I saw God.

By Ken Carlson

More poems by Ken Carlson here

Finding Yourself in the Pile of Goo

Coaching is a great place to become aware of you. Discover the more real version of yourself. 

Most of my clients report this no-man's land between their normal self and the self of their future. It's unsettling because we've spent our lives solving our survival and love needs one way and for the most part it works. Until it doesn't. 

It's worth it. This alive-ness. This more authentic version of us. It truly is why I do what I do--to be with others in the middle of this journey--to show them glimpses of their glory. 

I'm in the business of real conversations and I'd love to have one with you. Please reach out if you would like to talk about this or anything at all!

To set it up,  r
eply to ken@authenticdevelopment.com, call 847-873-9559 or just make an appointment at https://authenticdev.youcanbook.me/ to get started. The link is always up to date.

Learn more about how Authentic Development can help you and your team come alive.

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