How are things? I mean really how are things? Today, in this moment?

If you are like most of us, you are waiting for something out in the future for things to be OK.  Are you waiting for your relationship with your spouse or partner to get better? Waiting for your kids to get out of the phase that they are in? Waiting for your slightly injured knee to improve?  

This is real stuff. Marriages are sometimes tough. Raising kids is tough. Our bodies seem to betray us when we need the stress relief of exercise the most. So what do we do? We push through it. We hear that voice inside our heads that tells us to "stop whining and get moving. Deal with it!" 

I'm here to offer a different perspective. There is so much to discover in those places of toughness—I wonder if we don't miss out on the living available to us by pushing through it. By coping. What if we stopped in those moments and asked the questions beneath the surface? What if we asked ourselves some whopper questions in the areas where we are waiting for things to get better and stayed with the questions long enough to experience ourselves and our lives?   Read More »

It's 9 days ago. I'm lying face down on a tattoo parlor table. The pain is beyond what I imagined. It's not stopping. I tell myself it will be over soon. Soon is taking quite a while. Each branch of the tree has to be traced and filled in. The leaves need to be added--each leaf another needle. Eventually, I embrace the pain. I stop cringing. I lean into it. It becomes the metaphor for why I'm here--1000 miles from home, alone, getting a tattoo of a tree on my back.

I'm here because my friends loved me and believed in me and sent me to a world class leadership program. I'm alone because I must be, and I'm getting a tree on my back because the tree is the symbol of my true life.

Beauty and pain are inextricably linked. Authenticity--what my new tattoo represents--is not possible without pain.

So, many years ago I set clear intentions for my life:  I want my insides to match my outsides. I want to be real. I want to live authentically. I knew at the time that this was not an easy task. I knew it would cost me things to live out those intentions. Mostly I knew that I would have to drastically change for those intentions to turn into reality.

Today--I turn 40.

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