My Life Is Unfolding Perfectly

Posted Thursday, August 30, 2012

So, I've seen my share of tough times. So have my friends. My clients.

I've made my share of unwise choices. Choices that brought consequences that no one would wish for—ever. So have my friends. My clients.

I've experienced my share of betrayal, infliction of pain, and just plain irresponsibility at the hands of those that had power to do so with me. Parents. Family. Lovers. Friends. Bosses. Co-workers. So have my friends. My clients.

With that said, I don't sit in a place of naivety or even a place of denial when I ask myself or I ask my clients to sit with this one idea, a mantra of sorts:  Read More »

"Say The Thing That Will Get You Fired" Guest Post by Bonita Richter

Posted Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I sat across from him, and told him a story about some of my deepest fears as a coach. He listened intently, his soft, light blue eyes gazing into mine, seeing right through into my soul. I asked him if I should have done more. Could I have helped more?

Was I supposed to have spoken out loud the words that were swirling around my brain? I wanted to say them so badly. But, I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, in the wrong way. I didn’t want to hurt her. So, I kept quiet, murmured words of support, knowing I danced (not so delicately) around the true matter.

How do I say what I wanted to say without hurting? How do I tell her the victim story she is so attached to is a lie? Not that something bad didn’t happen to her. But, it continues, to some degree, because she allows it. She clings to it. I want to tell her it is time to release this story, this way of being. Yet, she is so deeply attached.

As coaches, we’ve all had a client that clings to their disempowering stories or beliefs. Or, for one reason or another, they didn’t do the work, didn’t get the results they were seeking; went AWOL, disappeared without a trace; didn’t respond to our calls and emails, our reaching out to help.

We know it’s not us. The type of client I am talking about has some deep stuff going on inside them that’s difficult to break through, no matter how earnest our efforts. I know in my heart of hearts this is my truth.

But, the question remains; is there more I could have done?  Read More »

Am I Deluding Myself?

Posted Tuesday, August 14, 2012

"Am I deluding myself."

This is a common question. For me. For my clients.

It's a strong voice of doubt in my head.

There is really no way to know about how things are going to turn out. Yet, we try very hard make it turn out exactly how we expect it to.

  • We want to know without a doubt that he or she will love me forever; so we tie the knot. 
  • We want to know that we will always have a place to rest our head; so we sign the paperwork on the thirty year mortgage.
  • We want financial security; so we go to college and get a good job that allows us to save up some money.

Here's the thing:  Read More »

Magic is Real

Posted Wednesday, August 08, 2012


I picked up the phone. I had been thinking about my friend for most of the day. We hadn't talked in a couple months and I knew there was a lot of transition going on in his life. I wanted to check in. The phone rang and he picked up on the first ring. Just prior to my call he had clicked on an email folder that he had set up from my company. Today was not such a good day for him. Today was one of those days that you can never be prepared for. I didn't know why he was on my heart today. Now I know.

I just graduated from a 10-month intensive leadership program that seemed an impossibility a year ago. I knew I had to go the minute I heard about it. So, I signed up, I took the leap. Four weeks later, my financial situation crumbled beneath my feet. I knew I was meant to go but I had zero funds. Then I asked for help. Within 3 weeks of asking for over $13,000 I had all the money. I was stunned.

There's more.  Read More »

Unhinged or Unclipped?

Posted Saturday, July 28, 2012


Do you ever feel unhinged? It's an interesting expression isn't it? It's about being unbalanced, especially mentally.

I felt that way recently. I have been on the go—literally seeing the world—and I came back home and slowed down for the first time in over a month. In those moments—I tried to catch my breath. I wondered what was wrong. I have so much to be thankful for and I am living my dream—but I still felt off and I couldn't shake the sense of "unhinged" that permeated my thoughts.

The old me would have frantically found something or someone to hold onto. I would have attached myself to what I believed was solid. I probably would have made some unwise decisions.

The new me did a few things.  Read More »

10 Ways to Save Your Life

Posted Thursday, May 31, 2012


I was recently on a plane and the flight attendant spoke up about the safety information she was about to share. She said, "It is better to know this information and not need it than to need it and not know it. This information could save your life." Good point!

Here is a list of "truths" that may save your life—specifically save you from living a life that EVEN YOU believe is not worth living.

  Read More »

F*** the Garden or I Scare People

Posted Friday, May 25, 2012


I don't know Einat. Never had a conversation with her. Wouldn't be able to tell you a thing about her. But I saw her. I felt her. I wrote a poem about her. 

You see, we're trying something new over at The Poet's Way. We thought it would be a powerful way for the community to interact if we asked whoever wanted to—to put up 10 words that describe themselves. No other instructions. Just 10 words. 

Einat jumped in. She put up her ten words:  Standing still cause if I move I'd feel. (Actually 8 words) So,  I saw what I saw in those words. I wrote a poem.  Read More »

Just BE-ing is So Damn Boring

Posted Friday, May 18, 2012


These are the words of my client. All this "BE-ing" stuff is just so boring.

She's trying so hard. Trying to learn how to "BE." I must be doing something wrong, she thinks, because it's so much work to get there and when she does—it's just plain boring. Why bother?

Here's a truth. If you are struggling—it isn't being. 

Maybe you've had this issue. Your friends—your neighbors—your co-workers suggest to you that life isn't about the DOING—it's about the BEING. So you try. You decide to embrace this new way of life.  You take yoga or qigong classes and learn what it is like to be totally present with your body. You go on silent retreats to discover what being with your own thoughts will bring you. You meditate in the morning—every day—in order to center yourself and experience your day from a place of fullness and presence.

And this is exactly what many of us need to incorporate BE-ing into our lives. Some of us though—don't see the point. We struggle to quiet ourselves and then find no value once we are there. What's wrong with this picture?  Read More »

Who Makes You Happy?

Posted Friday, May 11, 2012


About a year ago—my second marriage came to an end. Somewhat suddenly with circumstances that make most people gasp. However, this is not a story about the ending. This is a story about the beginning.

You see—my former wife and I became engaged to be married in DC during the summer of 2006. It was a fairy tale engagement. I showed up at her work on a early Friday afternoon and swept her away in a limo to the airport. We made our way to the bed and breakfast in DC where I pulled out all the stops to make her feel like a princess: rose petals, wine, a concert, clothing, a picnic in our favorite park with huge waterfalls, and of course a poem expressing my desire to be with her. Forever.

Last week I was in DC. I've told you that I love it there.

My cousin took me for a hike and I had no idea where I was going. It soon became clear after we arrived that we were at the park where I had asked my former wife to marry me. My first thought: "Ughh—I don't need this—maybe we should go somewhere else." My second thought: "I wonder what the universe wants to teach me today. In this place. With so much emotion. This should be fascinating."

I chose to stay. Boy am I glad that I did.   Read More »

Then He Said, "I Don't Know How To Be Alone."

Posted Thursday, April 26, 2012



You could hear a pin drop. The once lively discussion that the group of us were having moved to reality and we all sat with his words.

There was no judgement. We ALL knew exactly what he was talking about.

You see, there is real life going on all around us and somewhere along the way we were taught that avoiding truth and avoiding our feelings will keep us safe. Really? Do you feel safe? Do you feel at ease?

This is a big deal. There are people in intense pain at every turn. We self-medicate with TV, with food, with alcohol, and prescription drugs. We also do it in more outwardly "healthy" ways like exercise and work.

I feel deeply for my friend. He doesn't want to be alone. He's willing to endure misery in order to ensure that he doesn't have to be alone. At least he has the courage to admit it. To admit that it's his choice—he knows that it's a fool's bargain—but it's his bargain and the only one he knows how to make right now. We've all been there. I would venture to guess that we are all there right now—one way or another.

So what do we do now?   Read More »



Check out our last 6 eNewsletters:

November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)


May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management


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