I Want To Be Afraid!

Posted Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Your Life Story is Made Up!

Posted Thursday, September 08, 2011


I know, I know…you were there and I wasn't so how can I say that your stories are made up. Easy. All of our stories are made up. 

I'm not saying the facts or details aren't true—I'm just saying that when you tell yourself that story today—YOU make up the meaning and give it the power to influence your life. Someone else who went through the exact experience might have a completely different story. 

Let me illustrate. So the biggest story of my life got flipped on its head recently.  I come from a big family. I have a total of eight siblings. However, when I was five years old, my parents divorced and my mother quickly remarried and moved to Germany with her new husband. I was one of the youngest and was raised by my father and stepmother with almost no contact with my mother. 

So my story went something like this: "My life was ruined when my mom left me." I believed that I was abandoned by the one person that I needed most in the world. This story had HUGE consequences on how I showed up in the world—both good and bad.  Read More »

The Problem with Religion

Posted Thursday, August 11, 2011



I have a problem. I like to be right. I've always been this way—at least as long as I can remember. 

In grade school, sometimes the only thing I had to hold onto was the fact that I was right about the answer. One not so emotionally intelligent teacher gave me some advice on how to deal with bullies that called me names; she told me to tell them to "prove it." For all the bullies and for the bullied out there—you know what happened when I said "prove it." The bullies just started chanting prove it, prove it, prove it. 

I learned though—that I could know the most and have at least some confidence as I went through my life. I definitely enjoyed proving people wrong—which didn't win me very many friends as a young student.

So midway through high school, I decided to completely choose my religion. I was cocky, bold, and used to getting picked on. Not such a great combination. I soon took the messages of love that were given to me by my church and turned them into messages of exclusion. I was genuinely worried about the souls of my friends, my girlfriend, and co-workers. I quickly learned as much as I could about how to evangelize everyone who was far from God (at least from my point of view.) I wore t-shirts that proclaimed my devotion to Jesus and every conversation I had with someone that didn't believe like I did was an opportunity to tell them about the "good news."
  Read More »

Forgetting Everything I Know

Posted Monday, August 01, 2011



So I met someone famous last week. Stacy Allison. She is the first american woman to summit Mt. Everest. I know. Impressive. You have maybe heard the stats—only one in 10 people that attempt Everest, make it to the summit and for every four people that make it to the summit, 1 person dies trying. Yikes. 

Stacy is good friends with one of my friends and the three of us went for a long run together. After I gawked and got over my nervousness, I discovered pretty quickly that Stacy is just as human as I am (surprise) and the three of us had a very pleasant time together talking about the good, bad, and the ugly in our lives.

She gave me a copy of her book as well and I started reading it as soon as I got a chance later that day. I was fascinated with the story of a young girl trying to find her life and stepping into risks again and again.

  Read More »

Perception is Everything...ummm Not Really

Posted Thursday, July 28, 2011



So, Canal Street. If you don't know about it, you haven't done much shopping in New York City. If you have, you know exactly what types of watches, purses, and electronics are available here. All fake, all illegal, but some of them very convincing fakes.

Here's the problem though—once you buy it—you know it's fake. You know that when you walk into a room with your gorgeous Prada or stylish Rolex, you are really only wearing $50 worth of merchandise—not the $5000 that the real thing might cost.

Do you get the same satisfaction that you would have gotten by the compliments and noticings that might go on? Do you feel happy about your wealth? Do you feel like you belong with the other people in the room with actual Rolexes?
  Read More »

What Are You Fighting For?

Posted Thursday, July 21, 2011



I saw the new Harry Potter movie tonight with my teenage daughter. A must see. Really.

I know this happens in real life too—but there is just something about movies where you get to see people living out of their true selves—really experiencing their fear but deciding to face it and do what they must do for those that they love.

It makes me think of Braveheart—another story of good and evil with betrayal, death of a hero, and freedom winning in the end.

I was asked who I admired the other day. Living or dead. Real or fictional. The first name that hit me was William Wallace. I tried to push it out to come up with a "better" name but my sub conscience wouldn't have it—William Wallace was the choice. Then came the follow-up questions: what is it that you admire? What are the specific traits. What inspires you about this person? What resonates with you?

Try this yourself with someone you admire, my answers are below:   Read More »

Why Authenticity?

Posted Wednesday, July 13, 2011



I asked my readers on facebook the other day— why be authentic?

Here are a couple of responses: 

  • Authenticity is our only connection to reality.  It's not always pleasant, but it forces us to enter into places that really need to be restored. It's also profoundly engaging (or disruptive) to people bombarded with superficiality, showmanship and deceit on a daily basis. And once exposed, it forces you to decide...will I be authentic or will I continue to hide? 
  • Because I am constantly seeking truth. Whether or not if the truth is pleasant I'd rather deal with the truth and make an informed conscious decision based on truth. With that being said, I'd rather be authentic to set expectations and examples to the people in my life. How does the saying go? "Do unto others...." As complex as human emotions can be, I believe being authentic increases sincerity, clarifies intention, and minimizes confusion.   
I think authenticity is hard. It's dangerous. It leads to pain. It's like driving up the Pacific Coast Highway. There are twists, turns, and all sorts of places that require caution…ahhh, but the beauty is worth it. 
  Read More »

Holding Onto What You Can't Hold Onto

Posted Monday, June 27, 2011



I've been devastated in my life. Many times. I've cried through pain beyond belief...wondering if I would ever be OK.

I love deeply. I throw my whole self into relationships. I don't believe that we should do this thing called friendship with anything less than our full selves. One caution however, this way of doing life has consequences.

In my 20s, I had a best friend; we were together often and we met for breakfast every Friday for several years. Our families did stuff together and everyone thought of us as brothers. One day, I had been trying to get ahold of him to borrow a card table and when he finally answered...he said that he didn't want to lend me his card table and he didn't want to be my friend anymore either. I slumped onto my bed and asked him to repeat what he said. He did and I went into shock.

I didn't understand what had happened. It turns out that he had been building up resentment towards how I rubbed him the wrong way for years and simply kept it to himself. Something I did that week set him off and he was done.

I could not function at work the next day. I was a mess. I'd like to say that we talked and worked it out and repaired our friendship but the truth is that we never did. He had never said there was anything wrong until that day.

Then and now I will own my issues...own my mistakes. I learned many things about myself from that relationship. I learned that I can come across as thinking I'm better than others when my insecurities are in full swing. I also learned that although he wasn't going to be my friend anymore...it didn't mean that I was unworthy of friendship.   Read More »

What is the Universe Saying to You?

Posted Tuesday, May 31, 2011



Have you ever felt like the universe was trying to tell you something?

Several years ago I decided to go to motorcycle safety school so I could buy a harley and hang out with my best buddy on Saturday afternoons in the summer. My plans were changed when I fell off my bike during the training and although I wasn't hurt physically, I ended up with a concussion and amnesia. It was probably the scariest day of my life as I couldn't remember anything in the last several months of my life--including going to see the team of my childhood in a playoff game.

My memory mostly came back (I still don't remember the fall) and a few months later I started considering going back to the class and going after my dream of having a motorcycle. My buddy was headed to the Bike Expo and I decided to come along. On my way into the building I was walking through the parking garage--just minding my own business--and I rammed my head into a pipe that was hanging down. I hit it so hard I saw stars.

It was in that moment that I decided that the universe was saying as loudly as it could: DON'T DO IT.

  Read More »

Do You Smell Something?

Posted Thursday, May 19, 2011


So, what’s the stench in your life? The one you don’t notice? What’s the fragrance in your life—the one that only other people smell?

Think of it this way. Have you ever come back from vacation and noticed the odor of your house? I’m not talking about forgetting to take out the garbage—I’m talking about that special smell that other people know as the fragrance of your home but you rarely smell because it is yours.

You also have a way of looking at life that is uniquely yours—or unique to your community. That smell or odor or fragrance—whatever you label it—that’s a piece of you. That’s your perspective on life.

Once upon a time—not long ago—my odor contained quite a bit of judgment of others, better than-ness, and self-righteousness. I wouldn’t be surprised if the odor still lingers although I am working hard to exchange it for inclusivity, friendship, and authenticity.

  Read More »



Check out our last 6 eNewsletters:

November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)


May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management


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