Am I Deluding Myself?

Posted Tuesday, August 14, 2012

"Am I deluding myself."

This is a common question. For me. For my clients.

It's a strong voice of doubt in my head.

There is really no way to know about how things are going to turn out. Yet, we try very hard make it turn out exactly how we expect it to.

  • We want to know without a doubt that he or she will love me forever; so we tie the knot. 
  • We want to know that we will always have a place to rest our head; so we sign the paperwork on the thirty year mortgage.
  • We want financial security; so we go to college and get a good job that allows us to save up some money.

Here's the thing:

This is where the "deluding ourselves" really begins. It begins in believing that we can get on top of all of these desires in our lives. Isn't it a delusion to think that we can nail down exactly how life is going to be? Relationships, housing, and finances are just three areas that have proven to us again and again that we are not in control.

So, I am choosing to delude myself somewhere else. Instead of attempting to figure it all out. I will delude myself into thinking that I have everything I need in life. I choose to follow the delusional path of Emerson, Thoreau, and Keats and believe that each of us are meant to live from our hearts. I give it a go. I live in the unknown.

And then I have a bad day, a bad week, or a crappy year. So, I find myself here again—am I deluding myself?

Is it more delusional to chase after a full life that makes an impact on the world—or is it delusional to believe I will finally be happy when my boss promotes me to that Director role I want so badly?

Is it more delusional to think poetry can change people's lives—or is it delusional to believe that I have to stay in this soul-crushing job so my kids can go to a good college?

Is it more delusional to think that in my greatest need, the universe will have my back—or is it delusional to believe that I need to cover every option in case something bad occurs to me?

My point, if you haven't seen it by now, is that we all live in a place of delusion. Practicality is a delusion. At it's core, life is unknowable and uncontrollable. It's for living—not for figuring out.

So today. Live your best life. Risk speaking up for what you really want and move towards it. Get on the playing field that you want to be playing on.

Check out our last 6 eNewsletters:

November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)

May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management

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