F*** the Garden or I Scare People

Posted Friday, May 25, 2012

I don't know Einat. Never had a conversation with her. Wouldn't be able to tell you a thing about her. But I saw her. I felt her. I wrote a poem about her. 

You see, we're trying something new over at The Poet's Way. We thought it would be a powerful way for the community to interact if we asked whoever wanted to—to put up 10 words that describe themselves. No other instructions. Just 10 words. 

Einat jumped in. She put up her ten words:  Standing still cause if I move I'd feel. (Actually 8 words) So,  I saw what I saw in those words. I wrote a poem.

The poem is called Mountain and it simply interprets where I felt Einat was at in the moment she posted her words. 

Now, Einat was moved. She was besides herself. Now it was her turn. To write a poem. She couldn't stop thinking about it. She found herself waking up in the middle of the night writing a poem about me—but it's really all about her.

Her poem. It's about being scared. Being afraid of facing yourself. Being afraid of reflecting—afraid of entering into the world of self-work. 

Something you should know about me. I have always been the guy at the party that wants to talk about real life stuff. Your heartbreak. Your shitty parents. Your places of greatest joy. I just never saw the point in small talk. I think we are all meant to live at a deeper level of meaning.  This is a longing for Eden. It's a longing for community with each other—with the universe—with god. Some of us avoid it at all costs. Some of us live in it so deeply that we aren't in touch with anyone who isn't longing. 

Me—I stand on the edge. I call people to their own Eden. Ask them to take a look. Many don't. Many do. I can't say who has it right. To me, it doesn't matter. I'm going to keep scaring people by seeing in them more than they see in themselves. They may tell me to f*** off. I won't take it personally. 

What about you? Do you want to be scared? Do you long for someone to truly see you? What's the step you want to take? Maybe it's hiring a coach. Maybe it's doing something scary. Maybe it's going to The Poet's Way Facebook group and posting your 10 words. Someone will write you a poem. Maybe it will touch you. Maybe it won't. 

Einat's Poem About Einat

You scare me.
You see through walls, 
Through words,
Through silences.
You won't allow me to hide
You wont have it any way
Other than me, 
And I know I am supposed to
Want it this way and no other
I am not ready
I am not ready.

You scare me.
There is nowhere to run from you
There is nowhere to hide.
You see all
Hear all
Feel all
Like in the Garden of Eden-
No tree big enough to shade me
No leaf big enough to cover
The shame of whatever is there
Man. Woman. Apple. Snake.

You scare me.
You raise the bar so high
And higher
And higher yet
The sky isn't the limit for you.
How will I ever measure up
How will I ever be comfortable
To be
Around you
Eye to eye
All I do is break rules
And break hearts
And challenge
And defy
And run away when the ground gets warm.
I run.
And I don't look back
And I don't reflect
And I don't learn.
I run and repeat like a mantra,
F*** the garden.
F*** the garden.

Check out our last 6 eNewsletters:

November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)

May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management

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