How People ACTUALLY Change

Posted Tuesday, March 20, 2012


If you have a teenager, you know. If you have a sibling or a spouse that you desperately want to see live differently, you know. If you—looking at your own life—ever had a way of living that you couldn't bring yourself to change, you know.


Information does not change us. Logic has little to no effect on us in terms of moving us in a specific direction. If we implemented 10% of the information in the books we've read—we would be exponentially richer, thinner, smarter, and happier.


Everyone knows that smoking is bad for them—yet we're picking up $10 packs of cigarettes every day. Everyone knows that eating veggies and exercising regularly will allow us to live longer and better lives—yet when it comes time to choosing breakfast—we sit down in front of bacon, whipped cream covered waffles, and a mocha. Everyone knows that relationships take intentionality, effort, and time—yet we often will watch re-runs of Lost instead of picking up the phone and connecting. This is us. We know exactly the right way to live yet we don't do it. We stay in the same life-sucking job for years and years instead of changing it. We throw up our hands and surrender to life as it is being "given" to us.

Change happens out of our hearts. It comes from our true knowings. You can't educate someone to change. They have to decide for themselves. The challenge then, is how do we change ourselves because we can certainly INSPIRE others to change themselves.

We change ourselves by leaving the things we KNOW with our brain and connecting to the things we KNOW deep inside of us. We do self-discovery. We work on ourselves. We discover how we interact with people. We come to grips with our deep regrets and experience the emotion of what we never want to do or be. This is how we change.

What brings you to your deepest level of sadness? What makes your heart sing every time? 

Do more of that. Go to those places more often. Let that internal experience change you. If you are willing to do the work—it will.



Check out our last 6 eNewsletters:

November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)


May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management


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