What Is Your Inauthenticity Costing You?

Posted Friday, January 27, 2012

I'm into authenticity. Obviously. 
Authenticity is one of those things though. It's like the idea of having a home cooked dinner with the family and eating around the dinner table. Everyone agrees that this is how we should eat and how families should be. The problem with it is that it seems so damn impractical 80% of the time. So as a culture we eat more in cars than we do around a dinner table. YIKES! 
The same is true with authenticity. We all agree that the truth is better than lies. We all agree that we we should be ourselves and not what other people want us to be. Here we are again though—80% of the time it just seems so impractical. What if I don't get promoted? What if I don't get hired? What if I hurt someone's feelings? What if my friends who seem to like me leave when they find out the truth? 
So we lie. 
Or we stretch the truth. 
Or we hide parts of ourselves.  
We certainly don't live our truth fully, out loud, every day.    

Personally, I think we spend so much time imagining the consequences of being authentic that we don't even consider what our inauthenticity is costing us every day.  
When it comes right down to it. Inauthenticity costs us our life. It costs us the hope for real love. It costs us the friendships that we could have. It costs us all the things that really matter. 
About a year ago, I was calling my friends towards authenticity and one of them in particular challenged me. She wanted to know what my inauthenticity had cost me. She wanted to know that I wasn't just spouting off platitudes about why being real is important. I got her point. I promised her a thought out response.

I wrote a poem.

As I wrote it, I cried because even I didn't realize all the things my inauthenticity had cost me. It was in that moment, as I was writing that poem, that I knew I would never go back. Never go back to the old way of living. 
This is why I'm into authenticity. I've looked deeply at what inauthenticity has cost me. I've decided to live—as best I can—from a different place. From a place of truth telling even when it hurts. From a place of showing up as myself even when others may not like me or may not even befriend me. I am trying to live in a place of speaking the words that must be said in those hard moments in relationships. I am attempting to be honest with myself—which may be the biggest challenge of all. 
Will you join me on this journey? My guess is you will if you recognize the costs—if you feel the pain of personal disappointment. When you come to the place that I did that confirmed that the only way that I was ever going to have the life I really wanted—was to be real.  

Check out our last 6 eNewsletters:

November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)

May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management

Recent Posts