Friendship Matters

Posted Monday, October 19, 2015


The year was 1984. It was the last day of summer before 8th grade began. I had just cried my eyes out for several hours due to my lack of friends. It was time to dust myself off and enter the problem solving phase.

I took a two-pronged approach: Prayer and Hair. I prayed that God would give me a friend and I decided that a slicked back hairdo would win me some friends as well.

The failure was epic on both counts.

I kept at it though and eventually had a close group of friends by the end of my high school years. To this day, I don’t think there is anything more important to my personal and spiritual growth than friendship.

Emerson said, “I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know.”

Friendship matters to me. I’m sure it matters to you.

Cultivating, creating, building, and having friendships can be more powerful than therapy, and more influential than even coaching. I’m not talking about simply having a friend. I’m talking about intentionally creating space for growth with one or more friends. I’m talking about making friendship a DISCIPLINE.

A discipline is something that we CAN do right now in order to make an impact on something we can’t do yet but want to be able to do in the future.

My growth as a human is inextricably linked to the discipline of friendship. It is in these intentional spaces that I:
      • Was called out to finally go to therapy in my late 20s—kick starting deep and permanent healing.
      • Discovered the courage to start my own business and did so in 2008.
      • Processed the joys and pains of my significant other relationships.
      • Caught the first glimpse of my life’s purpose.
      • Saw myself fully through another man’s eyes and found myself as worthy.
      • A friendship is a safe AND courageous space. Safe because of trust and ability to talk about your whole life—and courageous because we can take risks to fully live our purpose. A friendship that creates this safe and courageous space can propel us into our truest selves.

My challenge to you is ask yourself how intentional have you been in creating the discipline of friendship in your life? What do you want and what are you going to do about it?

I’ve also started a series of FREE webinars called Practice Makes People. Next Tuesday is about the Discipline of Friendship and I’d love to have you join me. Last week we introduced the topic of The Core Disciplines: Celebration and Solitude. If you missed it, go to the link and download the recording. Check out the entire series here.


Check out our last 6 eNewsletters:

November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)


May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management


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