When Being the Man is Her Problem

Posted Friday, September 04, 2015


Plane rides can be fun.

Not that long ago, two intelligent, obviously fit, and friendly women sat down next to me for the long flight home.

We all started chatting immediately and when they found out that I was a coach—well the questions started pouring in. Both women—it seems—were focused on Sarah’s (not her real name) latest relationship issues. 

Let’s paint the picture. Sarah has been with Joe for a few years now and although he is a nice guy—there is just something missing. There is a “being a man" factor that she is wanting more of but he isn’t providing. She feels like she pretty much has to wear the pants in the relationship and although both get along well—the passion is gone.

Does any of this sound familiar?

It’s simple. You've heard the cliché that opposites attract. It's the same with masculine and feminine roles. When both partners in a relationship share the same roles—attraction dips.

It’s a great conversation and it’s easy to blame Joe for what’s going on. However, one question got to the heart of what was going on for Sarah. “What would it look like for you to be the woman in the relationship instead of the man?”

It’s not about Joe. It’s about Sarah and what she needs to do. There’s lots for her to consider. And she’s scared: "What if he doesn’t show up like I need him to? What if I show up in my feminine glory and he doesn’t even notice me?” Great questions. She will only know when she tries it. 

Sarah and her friend got off that plane and I have no idea if she tried it. I hope so. 

How about you? Are you looking for more passion in your significant other relationship? My work as a coach is often focused on leadership and how to really love other people. Loving your significant other is probably the most difficult and most rewarding person to learn how to love. Connect with me if you want to explore it more.

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Check out our last 6 eNewsletters:

November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)

May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management

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