I was recently on a plane and the flight attendant spoke up about the safety information she was about to share. She said, "It is better to know this information and not need it than to need it and not know it. This information could save your life." Good point!

Here is a list of "truths" that may save your life—specifically save you from living a life that EVEN YOU believe is not worth living.

1. Your life, Your choice.

You create your own life. Period. No one else is responsible for what your life looks like today. Not your parents, not your significant other, not your boss. You choose the trajectory of your life every day and if you want it to look differently—you MUST choose a different trajectory. Your life, your choice.

2. The only person you can rescue is you.

I'm surrounded by clients and friends that are amazing at helping others. This is no surprise because we tend to attract people like ourselves. Rescuing others is a trap. It can't be done. We do it. It feels awesome. We must focus on saving ourselves. The only person you can rescue is you.

3. What you avoid, what you can't be with—it is actually running your life.

When we can't be with silence—our need for activity runs our actions. When we can't be with abandonment, how we interact with those who may abandon us gets affected. Learn to be with what you can't be with. What you avoid is running your life.

4. Your truest knowings are in your body—not your brain.

You already know this is true. Your gut tells you the answer long before you figure it out with your head. Our art comes from our body. Our dancing. Our musicality. Our poetry comes from the places of deep emotion. Slow down long enough to experience what your body is telling you. Your truest knowings are in your body.

5. Guilt and shame are the worst motivators for decision making.

It's funny—isn't it—that we constantly choose to do things out of guilt only to eventually resent the people we are trying to keep happy. Shame—negative self talk—keeps us from entering the life we really want time and time again. What would it be like if we just decided to stop listening to those voices for a day? Choose something besides guilt and shame to motivate your decisions. My suggestion: love.

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So I met someone famous last week. Stacy Allison. She is the first american woman to summit Mt. Everest. I know. Impressive. You have maybe heard the stats—only one in 10 people that attempt Everest, make it to the summit and for every four people that make it to the summit, 1 person dies trying. Yikes. 

Stacy is good friends with one of my friends and the three of us went for a long run together. After I gawked and got over my nervousness, I discovered pretty quickly that Stacy is just as human as I am (surprise) and the three of us had a very pleasant time together talking about the good, bad, and the ugly in our lives.

She gave me a copy of her book as well and I started reading it as soon as I got a chance later that day. I was fascinated with the story of a young girl trying to find her life and stepping into risks again and again.

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So, what’s the stench in your life? The one you don’t notice? What’s the fragrance in your life—the one that only other people smell?

Think of it this way. Have you ever come back from vacation and noticed the odor of your house? I’m not talking about forgetting to take out the garbage—I’m talking about that special smell that other people know as the fragrance of your home but you rarely smell because it is yours.

You also have a way of looking at life that is uniquely yours—or unique to your community. That smell or odor or fragrance—whatever you label it—that’s a piece of you. That’s your perspective on life.

Once upon a time—not long ago—my odor contained quite a bit of judgment of others, better than-ness, and self-righteousness. I wouldn’t be surprised if the odor still lingers although I am working hard to exchange it for inclusivity, friendship, and authenticity.

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So, like most of us--I woke up this Monday morning to the news that the man at the top of the US Government's MOST WANTED list is dead. Killed in a raid by Navy Seals in Pakistan.

I listened to the coverage on the radio, read the newspapers, and scoured the internet. I was struck over and over by tremendous emotion that people were feeling about the event. The jubilation in knowing he's dead and in some cases joy that brought grown men to tears. What is it about one man that could create such powerful reactions. I won't pretend to know the depth and breadth of it all but I do have some ideas about it.

Primarily, Osama Bin Laden is a symbol. He is a symbol of the specific brand of hatred he subscribed to towards America and the monstrous actions he planned, funded, and implemented on citizens all over the world. He is a symbol of many of our fears. He is a symbol of much of what we don't understand about the middle east. He is a symbol that reminds us of that horrific day nearly ten years ago when we watched people dying.

For me, Osama is a powerful symbol of a messed up world where violence trumps kindness at nearly every turn.

The entire thing got me thinking though. It got me thinking about the fact that the power of Osama Bin Laden's symbolism was much greater than any power that he really had. The man has been on the run for almost a decade with certainly some positional power in a feared organization but I'm having a hard time thinking of something powerful that he did in the last nine years. In terms of personal freedom--prisoners in US jails have more freedom than he had.

So here's the coaching question that has me pondering what this means to me and you:

What symbol in your life have you given way more power than it really has? What story are you telling yourself about the importance of something that simply isn't true?   Read More »

Some potential clients come to me because they think I have the career, business, or life advice that will get them to where they need to go. I’m sure I’ve left several people dismayed when I share with them that I don’t have any specific advice for them. My approach is to ask them questions and help them piece together their own ideas about what it is that they want for themselves.

There is a reason why I don't have any answers.

Just the idea that I could know the answer for how to live your life is ludicrous.  Read More »