Your Righteous Indignation is Eating Away Your Life

Posted Tuesday, January 29, 2013



I can barely stand it anymore. All the hatred directed at all sides. Conservatives and Liberals. Gays and Christians. Gun owners and gun control advocates. Everyone believes that they are right and the other side is evil. We have lost sight of each other's humanity and the truth is that our anger is making ZERO impact on the other side. Truth is our anger is actually hurting ourselves.

An example:

It went viral. This video by a newswoman in Lacrosse, Wisconsin. She was hurt. Her husband came to her defense on Facebook. Someone sent her a note about her weight.

Female Wisconsin News Anchor Speaks Out (0:59)

The response has been incredible. Hundreds of fans have rushed to her support. She labeled him a bully on air. The name calling hasn't stopped there with basically every name from A to Z being sent his way.

I'm definitely in the minority here when I say that this video isn't about bullying or obesity or anything really that most people are making it about.   Read More »

10 Ways to Save Your Life

Posted Thursday, May 31, 2012


I was recently on a plane and the flight attendant spoke up about the safety information she was about to share. She said, "It is better to know this information and not need it than to need it and not know it. This information could save your life." Good point!

Here is a list of "truths" that may save your life—specifically save you from living a life that EVEN YOU believe is not worth living.

  Read More »

Who Makes You Happy?

Posted Friday, May 11, 2012


About a year ago—my second marriage came to an end. Somewhat suddenly with circumstances that make most people gasp. However, this is not a story about the ending. This is a story about the beginning.

You see—my former wife and I became engaged to be married in DC during the summer of 2006. It was a fairy tale engagement. I showed up at her work on a early Friday afternoon and swept her away in a limo to the airport. We made our way to the bed and breakfast in DC where I pulled out all the stops to make her feel like a princess: rose petals, wine, a concert, clothing, a picnic in our favorite park with huge waterfalls, and of course a poem expressing my desire to be with her. Forever.

Last week I was in DC. I've told you that I love it there.

My cousin took me for a hike and I had no idea where I was going. It soon became clear after we arrived that we were at the park where I had asked my former wife to marry me. My first thought: "Ughh—I don't need this—maybe we should go somewhere else." My second thought: "I wonder what the universe wants to teach me today. In this place. With so much emotion. This should be fascinating."

I chose to stay. Boy am I glad that I did.   Read More »

RIDING THE UNICORN

Posted Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Imagine you in your home, winding down from a long day and the door bell rings. You open the door and there is a solitary unicorn standing there. You are understandably surprised. You are shocked when the unicorn starts speaking to you and in english says, "Get on! Let's go for a ride!"  

What's your response? Of course you are going to get on the unicorn. You are either in a dream or it's a chance of a lifetime—so no matter what—you are going to go for a ride. 

Is there anything magical in your life? Anything that has you in awe? Is there anywhere in your life where you experience unbridled joy?

  Read More »

Turning 40 Authentically

Posted Tuesday, October 04, 2011



It's 9 days ago. I'm lying face down on a tattoo parlor table. The pain is beyond what I imagined. It's not stopping. I tell myself it will be over soon. Soon is taking quite a while. Each branch of the tree has to be traced and filled in. The leaves need to be added--each leaf another needle. Eventually, I embrace the pain. I stop cringing. I lean into it. It becomes the metaphor for why I'm here--1000 miles from home, alone, getting a tattoo of a tree on my back.

I'm here because my friends loved me and believed in me and sent me to a world class leadership program. I'm alone because I must be, and I'm getting a tree on my back because the tree is the symbol of my true life.

Beauty and pain are inextricably linked. Authenticity--what my new tattoo represents--is not possible without pain.

So, many years ago I set clear intentions for my life:  I want my insides to match my outsides. I want to be real. I want to live authentically. I knew at the time that this was not an easy task. I knew it would cost me things to live out those intentions. Mostly I knew that I would have to drastically change for those intentions to turn into reality.

Today--I turn 40.

  Read More »

Your Life Story is Made Up!

Posted Thursday, September 08, 2011


I know, I know…you were there and I wasn't so how can I say that your stories are made up. Easy. All of our stories are made up. 

I'm not saying the facts or details aren't true—I'm just saying that when you tell yourself that story today—YOU make up the meaning and give it the power to influence your life. Someone else who went through the exact experience might have a completely different story. 

Let me illustrate. So the biggest story of my life got flipped on its head recently.  I come from a big family. I have a total of eight siblings. However, when I was five years old, my parents divorced and my mother quickly remarried and moved to Germany with her new husband. I was one of the youngest and was raised by my father and stepmother with almost no contact with my mother. 

So my story went something like this: "My life was ruined when my mom left me." I believed that I was abandoned by the one person that I needed most in the world. This story had HUGE consequences on how I showed up in the world—both good and bad.  Read More »

Forgetting Everything I Know

Posted Monday, August 01, 2011



So I met someone famous last week. Stacy Allison. She is the first american woman to summit Mt. Everest. I know. Impressive. You have maybe heard the stats—only one in 10 people that attempt Everest, make it to the summit and for every four people that make it to the summit, 1 person dies trying. Yikes. 

Stacy is good friends with one of my friends and the three of us went for a long run together. After I gawked and got over my nervousness, I discovered pretty quickly that Stacy is just as human as I am (surprise) and the three of us had a very pleasant time together talking about the good, bad, and the ugly in our lives.

She gave me a copy of her book as well and I started reading it as soon as I got a chance later that day. I was fascinated with the story of a young girl trying to find her life and stepping into risks again and again.

  Read More »

Perception is Everything...ummm Not Really

Posted Thursday, July 28, 2011



So, Canal Street. If you don't know about it, you haven't done much shopping in New York City. If you have, you know exactly what types of watches, purses, and electronics are available here. All fake, all illegal, but some of them very convincing fakes.

Here's the problem though—once you buy it—you know it's fake. You know that when you walk into a room with your gorgeous Prada or stylish Rolex, you are really only wearing $50 worth of merchandise—not the $5000 that the real thing might cost.

Do you get the same satisfaction that you would have gotten by the compliments and noticings that might go on? Do you feel happy about your wealth? Do you feel like you belong with the other people in the room with actual Rolexes?
  Read More »

What Are You Fighting For?

Posted Thursday, July 21, 2011



I saw the new Harry Potter movie tonight with my teenage daughter. A must see. Really.

I know this happens in real life too—but there is just something about movies where you get to see people living out of their true selves—really experiencing their fear but deciding to face it and do what they must do for those that they love.

It makes me think of Braveheart—another story of good and evil with betrayal, death of a hero, and freedom winning in the end.

I was asked who I admired the other day. Living or dead. Real or fictional. The first name that hit me was William Wallace. I tried to push it out to come up with a "better" name but my sub conscience wouldn't have it—William Wallace was the choice. Then came the follow-up questions: what is it that you admire? What are the specific traits. What inspires you about this person? What resonates with you?

Try this yourself with someone you admire, my answers are below:   Read More »

Why Authenticity?

Posted Wednesday, July 13, 2011



I asked my readers on facebook the other day— why be authentic?

Here are a couple of responses: 

  • Authenticity is our only connection to reality.  It's not always pleasant, but it forces us to enter into places that really need to be restored. It's also profoundly engaging (or disruptive) to people bombarded with superficiality, showmanship and deceit on a daily basis. And once exposed, it forces you to decide...will I be authentic or will I continue to hide? 
  • Because I am constantly seeking truth. Whether or not if the truth is pleasant I'd rather deal with the truth and make an informed conscious decision based on truth. With that being said, I'd rather be authentic to set expectations and examples to the people in my life. How does the saying go? "Do unto others...." As complex as human emotions can be, I believe being authentic increases sincerity, clarifies intention, and minimizes confusion.   
I think authenticity is hard. It's dangerous. It leads to pain. It's like driving up the Pacific Coast Highway. There are twists, turns, and all sorts of places that require caution…ahhh, but the beauty is worth it. 
  Read More »



Check out our last 6 eNewsletters:

November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)


May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management


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