A New Definition of Love In Action

Posted Thursday, March 07, 2013

So, I'm fed up. We've all been perpetuating a lie. We all participate in it as we watch movies, read books, and listen to music that reinforces this lie. The lie: If you are in love, you are happy. Oh, and you'll be happy forever. Hence the expression—happily ever after.

The truth is that we don't even know what love is and much of what we do in the name of love is not love at all. Isn't it time for a new definition of love? One that works in all areas of our lives?
I was struck this afternoon while driving just how angry so many people are. I know they aren't angry at me—but they sure are angry. With the protection of steel all around them, the way people treat each other is simply ludicrous. How different would it all be if people treated each other with love?

Is it any surprise that there is so little peace in the world when anger, discontent, fear, deception and control better define our primary relationships.

Love begins at home. We learn it and then we put into practice what we learn. Love begins with our own hearts. Love begins with how we treat ourselves and those closest to us.

So, I've got this thought. What would be different today if LOVE ruled the day. What would be different in the workplace? What would be different in our homes? What would be different in our relationships?
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RIDING THE UNICORN

Posted Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Imagine you in your home, winding down from a long day and the door bell rings. You open the door and there is a solitary unicorn standing there. You are understandably surprised. You are shocked when the unicorn starts speaking to you and in english says, "Get on! Let's go for a ride!"  

What's your response? Of course you are going to get on the unicorn. You are either in a dream or it's a chance of a lifetime—so no matter what—you are going to go for a ride. 

Is there anything magical in your life? Anything that has you in awe? Is there anywhere in your life where you experience unbridled joy?

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Surrendering to Imperfection

Posted Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Things are rarely as they seem.

As I looked across the table from this amazing woman just a few days ago—that is the thought that kept knocking around in my head. Her co-workers surely believe that she is on top of things and her supervisors definitely think so as they promote her again and again. There is no doubt that she makes an impact. No doubt that she is worth every penny they are paying her.

On the flip side though—the stuff that matters to her. The stuff for which she would give up her salary and lifestyle to make safe and get in order—is far from perfect. How do we get here? How do we end the insanity.

She offered her strategy during this time—her strategy is to "surrender to imperfection."

Hmmm! That's awesome!

Sorta like the opposite of Lexus' "The relentless pursuit of perfection."   Read More »

I Want To Be Afraid!

Posted Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Your Life Story is Made Up!

Posted Thursday, September 08, 2011


I know, I know…you were there and I wasn't so how can I say that your stories are made up. Easy. All of our stories are made up. 

I'm not saying the facts or details aren't true—I'm just saying that when you tell yourself that story today—YOU make up the meaning and give it the power to influence your life. Someone else who went through the exact experience might have a completely different story. 

Let me illustrate. So the biggest story of my life got flipped on its head recently.  I come from a big family. I have a total of eight siblings. However, when I was five years old, my parents divorced and my mother quickly remarried and moved to Germany with her new husband. I was one of the youngest and was raised by my father and stepmother with almost no contact with my mother. 

So my story went something like this: "My life was ruined when my mom left me." I believed that I was abandoned by the one person that I needed most in the world. This story had HUGE consequences on how I showed up in the world—both good and bad.  Read More »

Perception is Everything...ummm Not Really

Posted Thursday, July 28, 2011



So, Canal Street. If you don't know about it, you haven't done much shopping in New York City. If you have, you know exactly what types of watches, purses, and electronics are available here. All fake, all illegal, but some of them very convincing fakes.

Here's the problem though—once you buy it—you know it's fake. You know that when you walk into a room with your gorgeous Prada or stylish Rolex, you are really only wearing $50 worth of merchandise—not the $5000 that the real thing might cost.

Do you get the same satisfaction that you would have gotten by the compliments and noticings that might go on? Do you feel happy about your wealth? Do you feel like you belong with the other people in the room with actual Rolexes?
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Why Authenticity?

Posted Wednesday, July 13, 2011



I asked my readers on facebook the other day— why be authentic?

Here are a couple of responses: 

  • Authenticity is our only connection to reality.  It's not always pleasant, but it forces us to enter into places that really need to be restored. It's also profoundly engaging (or disruptive) to people bombarded with superficiality, showmanship and deceit on a daily basis. And once exposed, it forces you to decide...will I be authentic or will I continue to hide? 
  • Because I am constantly seeking truth. Whether or not if the truth is pleasant I'd rather deal with the truth and make an informed conscious decision based on truth. With that being said, I'd rather be authentic to set expectations and examples to the people in my life. How does the saying go? "Do unto others...." As complex as human emotions can be, I believe being authentic increases sincerity, clarifies intention, and minimizes confusion.   
I think authenticity is hard. It's dangerous. It leads to pain. It's like driving up the Pacific Coast Highway. There are twists, turns, and all sorts of places that require caution…ahhh, but the beauty is worth it. 
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Stop Waiting For It

Posted Tuesday, April 05, 2011



So, I was on vacation last week. Family vacation. We went to California and I re-discovered San Diego and we spent several days enjoying the sun in LA. We had some really fun times but the best day was when I rented a road bike and spent the afternoon riding up the Pacific coast. I love to bike. I love the sun. I love the ocean. I love a long afternoon to myself. I couldn’t have asked for a better day!

Another thing I did on vacation was pick up a book called The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss. My initial thought about this book was: “Who thinks that they can get all their work done in four hours a week? Who really thinks that they would still have a job if they tried to pull that off?” Those thoughts changed when I started reading.

 I was drawn into the book because it spoke truth right from the beginning about how most people that I know are experiencing their lives. A  couple of quotes:

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Saddle Up

Posted Tuesday, February 22, 2011



I went on a brewery tour last week and I learned that even (or especially) the most successful people are terrified of failure.

First, a story: I love beer.

My love affair with beer began on a business trip to Germany, I found every pub had their own beer and it was downright amazing. They even drink beer with their breakfast—how cool is that? Also, I had some wonderful friends and co-workers that introduced me to micro-brews that reinforced the idea that there was such a thing as great beer.

Since then, those that know me—know I love beer—and only good beer! So my buddy got me a tickets to the New Glarus Brewery tour and we headed up there last Friday.

It’s an inspiring story. Founded in 1993 by a Master Brewer and his Entrepreneur wife (Daniel and Deborah Carey) with only $40,000 in capital. They have grown rapidly—including 64% in the last three years—all while only selling beer in Wisconsin. As a part of the tour, we got a chance to talk to Dan Carey. He shared some of his vision for the company. He also demonstrated how passionate he was about the brewery and the people working alongside him.

We got a chance to ask him some questions so I asked him a question that I’m pretty sure he hasn’t heard that often from a weekly tour:

“What keeps you up at night?”

He took a deep breath. Then another.   Read More »



Check out our last 6 eNewsletters:

November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)


May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management


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