Fierce Love Starts With Truth Telling

Posted Sunday, May 10, 2015



I am a liar. I lie to myself. I lie to others. So do you. You are a liar. You lie to yourself. You lie to those you love the most. You lie to strangers. You lie. Welcome to the human race. We are programmed first and foremost to survive. Survive physically and survive emotionally. So we lie. You lie to your spouse about what you were actually thinking about. You lie to yourself about what you accomplished today. I lie to my friends to avoid a tough conversation. It works. It's effective. It helps us SURVIVE. Emotionally for sure. For some of us the survival is life and death--at least it feels like it.

Lying. It even helps us succeed. Like Lance. Look around you. What do you really believe about what you have to do in order to be truly successful? Is truth telling in your top 10? I doubt it and our culture definitely doesn't point you in that direction.  I can think of dozens of "successful" people that our culture is obsessed with who are a far cry from truth tellers. I'm racking my brain to think of more than three authentic and loving people that as a culture we are drawn to. Dalai Lama, possibly Pope Francis, and for the third...Bono, Oprah, Eckhardt Tolle, Brene Brown? Please tell me I'm wrong and send me a list of authentically loving people that our culture honors.

I want a different world. Don't you? I want real love to permeate the boardrooms and the family rooms of the world. I want the stuff that we all know matters to matter all of the time. I desperately want love to be the topic of everyday people--not just pop stars going on and on about something that really isn't love to begin with. When I was a teenager, I discovered "deep conversations." You know the type. The conversations where you are up late with your friends, partners, or family and time seems to fly because you are talking about real life--the stuff of the heart. I wondered then--and I wonder now--why don't we talk about this stuff out loud, in public? We all know it matters--in fact it's really about the only thing that matters--real love. So I'm on a mission to talk about it, try to live it, and do my best to teach it. 

It starts with truth telling.  Read More »

"Say The Thing That Will Get You Fired" Guest Post by Bonita Richter

Posted Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I sat across from him, and told him a story about some of my deepest fears as a coach. He listened intently, his soft, light blue eyes gazing into mine, seeing right through into my soul. I asked him if I should have done more. Could I have helped more?

Was I supposed to have spoken out loud the words that were swirling around my brain? I wanted to say them so badly. But, I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, in the wrong way. I didn’t want to hurt her. So, I kept quiet, murmured words of support, knowing I danced (not so delicately) around the true matter.

How do I say what I wanted to say without hurting? How do I tell her the victim story she is so attached to is a lie? Not that something bad didn’t happen to her. But, it continues, to some degree, because she allows it. She clings to it. I want to tell her it is time to release this story, this way of being. Yet, she is so deeply attached.

As coaches, we’ve all had a client that clings to their disempowering stories or beliefs. Or, for one reason or another, they didn’t do the work, didn’t get the results they were seeking; went AWOL, disappeared without a trace; didn’t respond to our calls and emails, our reaching out to help.

We know it’s not us. The type of client I am talking about has some deep stuff going on inside them that’s difficult to break through, no matter how earnest our efforts. I know in my heart of hearts this is my truth.

But, the question remains; is there more I could have done?  Read More »



Check out our last 6 eNewsletters:

November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)


May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management


Recent Posts


Tags


Archive