I was recently on a plane and the flight attendant spoke up about the safety information she was about to share. She said, "It is better to know this information and not need it than to need it and not know it. This information could save your life." Good point!

Here is a list of "truths" that may save your life—specifically save you from living a life that EVEN YOU believe is not worth living.

1. Your life, Your choice.

You create your own life. Period. No one else is responsible for what your life looks like today. Not your parents, not your significant other, not your boss. You choose the trajectory of your life every day and if you want it to look differently—you MUST choose a different trajectory. Your life, your choice.

2. The only person you can rescue is you.

I'm surrounded by clients and friends that are amazing at helping others. This is no surprise because we tend to attract people like ourselves. Rescuing others is a trap. It can't be done. We do it. It feels awesome. We must focus on saving ourselves. The only person you can rescue is you.

3. What you avoid, what you can't be with—it is actually running your life.

When we can't be with silence—our need for activity runs our actions. When we can't be with abandonment, how we interact with those who may abandon us gets affected. Learn to be with what you can't be with. What you avoid is running your life.

4. Your truest knowings are in your body—not your brain.

You already know this is true. Your gut tells you the answer long before you figure it out with your head. Our art comes from our body. Our dancing. Our musicality. Our poetry comes from the places of deep emotion. Slow down long enough to experience what your body is telling you. Your truest knowings are in your body.

5. Guilt and shame are the worst motivators for decision making.

It's funny—isn't it—that we constantly choose to do things out of guilt only to eventually resent the people we are trying to keep happy. Shame—negative self talk—keeps us from entering the life we really want time and time again. What would it be like if we just decided to stop listening to those voices for a day? Choose something besides guilt and shame to motivate your decisions. My suggestion: love.

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So, what’s the stench in your life? The one you don’t notice? What’s the fragrance in your life—the one that only other people smell?

Think of it this way. Have you ever come back from vacation and noticed the odor of your house? I’m not talking about forgetting to take out the garbage—I’m talking about that special smell that other people know as the fragrance of your home but you rarely smell because it is yours.

You also have a way of looking at life that is uniquely yours—or unique to your community. That smell or odor or fragrance—whatever you label it—that’s a piece of you. That’s your perspective on life.

Once upon a time—not long ago—my odor contained quite a bit of judgment of others, better than-ness, and self-righteousness. I wouldn’t be surprised if the odor still lingers although I am working hard to exchange it for inclusivity, friendship, and authenticity.

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There’s a disease out there that affects millions. It is literally killing people every day. Nearly every family has at least one individual suffering from this disease. The kicker is that each of us that suffer from this disease chose it for ourselves.

I just had lunch with a longtime sufferer of this disease. Here’s a quick description. Ashley is a young professional woman. Single with a good job and striking good looks. She’s hired a trainer to keep her slim and paid a hefty sum for a 20 session package. Here’s the problem: the trainer barely shows up at 6AM. This has been going on for months and he continues to lie about why he doesn’t show up. So what does Ashley do? She gives him another chance, and another, and another. She finally does stand up for herself after he misses three weeks in a row and ask for a refund for the 10 sessions left. Why did it take so long? It’s because she’s so nice. She wants to make sure everyone is OK. That’s the disease: BEING THE HERO! Even in our conversation today, she was taking responsibility for the situation because maybe the time doesn’t work for him and the price she was paying was very inexpensive compared to what she’s heard other people pay. Really?   Read More »

So, I was on vacation last week. Family vacation. We went to California and I re-discovered San Diego and we spent several days enjoying the sun in LA. We had some really fun times but the best day was when I rented a road bike and spent the afternoon riding up the Pacific coast. I love to bike. I love the sun. I love the ocean. I love a long afternoon to myself. I couldn’t have asked for a better day!

Another thing I did on vacation was pick up a book called The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss. My initial thought about this book was: “Who thinks that they can get all their work done in four hours a week? Who really thinks that they would still have a job if they tried to pull that off?” Those thoughts changed when I started reading.

 I was drawn into the book because it spoke truth right from the beginning about how most people that I know are experiencing their lives. A  couple of quotes:

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