I've been devastated in my life. Many times. I've cried through pain beyond belief...wondering if I would ever be OK.
I love deeply. I throw my whole self into relationships. I don't believe that we should do this thing called friendship with anything less than our full selves. One caution however, this way of doing life has consequences.
In my 20s, I had a best friend; we were together often and we met for breakfast every Friday for several years. Our families did stuff together and everyone thought of us as brothers.
One day, I had been trying to get ahold of him to borrow a card table and when he finally answered...he said that he didn't want to lend me his card table and he didn't want to be my friend anymore either. I slumped onto my bed and asked him to repeat what he said. He did and I went into shock.
I didn't understand what had happened. It turns out that he had been building up resentment towards how I rubbed him the wrong way for years and simply kept it to himself. Something I did that week set him off and he was done.
I could not function at work the next day. I was a mess.
I'd like to say that we talked and worked it out and repaired our friendship but the truth is that we never did. He had never said there was anything wrong until that day.
Then and now I will own my issues...own my mistakes. I learned many things about myself from that relationship. I learned that I can come across as thinking I'm better than others when my insecurities are in full swing. I also learned that although he wasn't going to be my friend anymore...it didn't mean that I was unworthy of friendship. Read More »