I was recently on a plane and the flight attendant spoke up about the safety information she was about to share. She said, "It is better to know this information and not need it than to need it and not know it. This information could save your life." Good point!

Here is a list of "truths" that may save your life—specifically save you from living a life that EVEN YOU believe is not worth living.

1. Your life, Your choice.

You create your own life. Period. No one else is responsible for what your life looks like today. Not your parents, not your significant other, not your boss. You choose the trajectory of your life every day and if you want it to look differently—you MUST choose a different trajectory. Your life, your choice.

2. The only person you can rescue is you.

I'm surrounded by clients and friends that are amazing at helping others. This is no surprise because we tend to attract people like ourselves. Rescuing others is a trap. It can't be done. We do it. It feels awesome. We must focus on saving ourselves. The only person you can rescue is you.

3. What you avoid, what you can't be with—it is actually running your life.

When we can't be with silence—our need for activity runs our actions. When we can't be with abandonment, how we interact with those who may abandon us gets affected. Learn to be with what you can't be with. What you avoid is running your life.

4. Your truest knowings are in your body—not your brain.

You already know this is true. Your gut tells you the answer long before you figure it out with your head. Our art comes from our body. Our dancing. Our musicality. Our poetry comes from the places of deep emotion. Slow down long enough to experience what your body is telling you. Your truest knowings are in your body.

5. Guilt and shame are the worst motivators for decision making.

It's funny—isn't it—that we constantly choose to do things out of guilt only to eventually resent the people we are trying to keep happy. Shame—negative self talk—keeps us from entering the life we really want time and time again. What would it be like if we just decided to stop listening to those voices for a day? Choose something besides guilt and shame to motivate your decisions. My suggestion: love.

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Imagine you in your home, winding down from a long day and the door bell rings. You open the door and there is a solitary unicorn standing there. You are understandably surprised. You are shocked when the unicorn starts speaking to you and in english says, "Get on! Let's go for a ride!"  

What's your response? Of course you are going to get on the unicorn. You are either in a dream or it's a chance of a lifetime—so no matter what—you are going to go for a ride. 

Is there anything magical in your life? Anything that has you in awe? Is there anywhere in your life where you experience unbridled joy?

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I know, I know…you were there and I wasn't so how can I say that your stories are made up. Easy. All of our stories are made up. 

I'm not saying the facts or details aren't true—I'm just saying that when you tell yourself that story today—YOU make up the meaning and give it the power to influence your life. Someone else who went through the exact experience might have a completely different story. 

Let me illustrate. So the biggest story of my life got flipped on its head recently.  I come from a big family. I have a total of eight siblings. However, when I was five years old, my parents divorced and my mother quickly remarried and moved to Germany with her new husband. I was one of the youngest and was raised by my father and stepmother with almost no contact with my mother. 

So my story went something like this: "My life was ruined when my mom left me." I believed that I was abandoned by the one person that I needed most in the world. This story had HUGE consequences on how I showed up in the world—both good and bad.  Read More »

I have a problem. I like to be right. I've always been this way—at least as long as I can remember. 

In grade school, sometimes the only thing I had to hold onto was the fact that I was right about the answer. One not so emotionally intelligent teacher gave me some advice on how to deal with bullies that called me names; she told me to tell them to "prove it." For all the bullies and for the bullied out there—you know what happened when I said "prove it." The bullies just started chanting prove it, prove it, prove it. 

I learned though—that I could know the most and have at least some confidence as I went through my life. I definitely enjoyed proving people wrong—which didn't win me very many friends as a young student.

So midway through high school, I decided to completely choose my religion. I was cocky, bold, and used to getting picked on. Not such a great combination. I soon took the messages of love that were given to me by my church and turned them into messages of exclusion. I was genuinely worried about the souls of my friends, my girlfriend, and co-workers. I quickly learned as much as I could about how to evangelize everyone who was far from God (at least from my point of view.) I wore t-shirts that proclaimed my devotion to Jesus and every conversation I had with someone that didn't believe like I did was an opportunity to tell them about the "good news."
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Have you ever felt like the universe was trying to tell you something?

Several years ago I decided to go to motorcycle safety school so I could buy a harley and hang out with my best buddy on Saturday afternoons in the summer. My plans were changed when I fell off my bike during the training and although I wasn't hurt physically, I ended up with a concussion and amnesia. It was probably the scariest day of my life as I couldn't remember anything in the last several months of my life--including going to see the team of my childhood in a playoff game.

My memory mostly came back (I still don't remember the fall) and a few months later I started considering going back to the class and going after my dream of having a motorcycle. My buddy was headed to the Bike Expo and I decided to come along. On my way into the building I was walking through the parking garage--just minding my own business--and I rammed my head into a pipe that was hanging down. I hit it so hard I saw stars.

It was in that moment that I decided that the universe was saying as loudly as it could: DON'T DO IT.

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