"Say The Thing That Will Get You Fired" Guest Post by Bonita Richter

Posted Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I sat across from him, and told him a story about some of my deepest fears as a coach. He listened intently, his soft, light blue eyes gazing into mine, seeing right through into my soul. I asked him if I should have done more. Could I have helped more?

Was I supposed to have spoken out loud the words that were swirling around my brain? I wanted to say them so badly. But, I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, in the wrong way. I didn’t want to hurt her. So, I kept quiet, murmured words of support, knowing I danced (not so delicately) around the true matter.

How do I say what I wanted to say without hurting? How do I tell her the victim story she is so attached to is a lie? Not that something bad didn’t happen to her. But, it continues, to some degree, because she allows it. She clings to it. I want to tell her it is time to release this story, this way of being. Yet, she is so deeply attached.

As coaches, we’ve all had a client that clings to their disempowering stories or beliefs. Or, for one reason or another, they didn’t do the work, didn’t get the results they were seeking; went AWOL, disappeared without a trace; didn’t respond to our calls and emails, our reaching out to help.

We know it’s not us. The type of client I am talking about has some deep stuff going on inside them that’s difficult to break through, no matter how earnest our efforts. I know in my heart of hearts this is my truth.

But, the question remains; is there more I could have done?  Read More »

Surrendering to Imperfection

Posted Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Things are rarely as they seem.

As I looked across the table from this amazing woman just a few days ago—that is the thought that kept knocking around in my head. Her co-workers surely believe that she is on top of things and her supervisors definitely think so as they promote her again and again. There is no doubt that she makes an impact. No doubt that she is worth every penny they are paying her.

On the flip side though—the stuff that matters to her. The stuff for which she would give up her salary and lifestyle to make safe and get in order—is far from perfect. How do we get here? How do we end the insanity.

She offered her strategy during this time—her strategy is to "surrender to imperfection."

Hmmm! That's awesome!

Sorta like the opposite of Lexus' "The relentless pursuit of perfection."   Read More »



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November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)


May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management


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