A New Definition of Love In Action

Posted Thursday, March 07, 2013

So, I'm fed up. We've all been perpetuating a lie. We all participate in it as we watch movies, read books, and listen to music that reinforces this lie. The lie: If you are in love, you are happy. Oh, and you'll be happy forever. Hence the expression—happily ever after.

The truth is that we don't even know what love is and much of what we do in the name of love is not love at all. Isn't it time for a new definition of love? One that works in all areas of our lives?
I was struck this afternoon while driving just how angry so many people are. I know they aren't angry at me—but they sure are angry. With the protection of steel all around them, the way people treat each other is simply ludicrous. How different would it all be if people treated each other with love?

Is it any surprise that there is so little peace in the world when anger, discontent, fear, deception and control better define our primary relationships.

Love begins at home. We learn it and then we put into practice what we learn. Love begins with our own hearts. Love begins with how we treat ourselves and those closest to us.

So, I've got this thought. What would be different today if LOVE ruled the day. What would be different in the workplace? What would be different in our homes? What would be different in our relationships?
  Read More »

The Art of Jumping

Posted Saturday, September 08, 2012


Typical coaching question: If you could know that you wouldn't fail, what would you do with your life?

OK—got it? Know your answer? Now what?

Here's the problem with this question, you can't know you won't fail—in fact failure is part of the plan. Failure is how you learn. 

The paralyzed are still paralyzed. It may be helpful for us to come up with the thing we want to do for the world. But that's where the question stops serving us. 

She wants to know. She doesn't want to fail. She decides.  "I'll come up with a plan. A fail-safe plan."

Fail safe plans don't exist. You can't learn to fly on the ground. 

So here is my step-by-step plan for you to do what it is that you want to do with your life.

Step 1: JUMP  Read More »

"Say The Thing That Will Get You Fired" Guest Post by Bonita Richter

Posted Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I sat across from him, and told him a story about some of my deepest fears as a coach. He listened intently, his soft, light blue eyes gazing into mine, seeing right through into my soul. I asked him if I should have done more. Could I have helped more?

Was I supposed to have spoken out loud the words that were swirling around my brain? I wanted to say them so badly. But, I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, in the wrong way. I didn’t want to hurt her. So, I kept quiet, murmured words of support, knowing I danced (not so delicately) around the true matter.

How do I say what I wanted to say without hurting? How do I tell her the victim story she is so attached to is a lie? Not that something bad didn’t happen to her. But, it continues, to some degree, because she allows it. She clings to it. I want to tell her it is time to release this story, this way of being. Yet, she is so deeply attached.

As coaches, we’ve all had a client that clings to their disempowering stories or beliefs. Or, for one reason or another, they didn’t do the work, didn’t get the results they were seeking; went AWOL, disappeared without a trace; didn’t respond to our calls and emails, our reaching out to help.

We know it’s not us. The type of client I am talking about has some deep stuff going on inside them that’s difficult to break through, no matter how earnest our efforts. I know in my heart of hearts this is my truth.

But, the question remains; is there more I could have done?  Read More »

Am I Deluding Myself?

Posted Tuesday, August 14, 2012

"Am I deluding myself."

This is a common question. For me. For my clients.

It's a strong voice of doubt in my head.

There is really no way to know about how things are going to turn out. Yet, we try very hard make it turn out exactly how we expect it to.

  • We want to know without a doubt that he or she will love me forever; so we tie the knot. 
  • We want to know that we will always have a place to rest our head; so we sign the paperwork on the thirty year mortgage.
  • We want financial security; so we go to college and get a good job that allows us to save up some money.

Here's the thing:  Read More »

Magic is Real

Posted Wednesday, August 08, 2012


I picked up the phone. I had been thinking about my friend for most of the day. We hadn't talked in a couple months and I knew there was a lot of transition going on in his life. I wanted to check in. The phone rang and he picked up on the first ring. Just prior to my call he had clicked on an email folder that he had set up from my company. Today was not such a good day for him. Today was one of those days that you can never be prepared for. I didn't know why he was on my heart today. Now I know.

I just graduated from a 10-month intensive leadership program that seemed an impossibility a year ago. I knew I had to go the minute I heard about it. So, I signed up, I took the leap. Four weeks later, my financial situation crumbled beneath my feet. I knew I was meant to go but I had zero funds. Then I asked for help. Within 3 weeks of asking for over $13,000 I had all the money. I was stunned.

There's more.  Read More »

Unhinged or Unclipped?

Posted Saturday, July 28, 2012


Do you ever feel unhinged? It's an interesting expression isn't it? It's about being unbalanced, especially mentally.

I felt that way recently. I have been on the go—literally seeing the world—and I came back home and slowed down for the first time in over a month. In those moments—I tried to catch my breath. I wondered what was wrong. I have so much to be thankful for and I am living my dream—but I still felt off and I couldn't shake the sense of "unhinged" that permeated my thoughts.

The old me would have frantically found something or someone to hold onto. I would have attached myself to what I believed was solid. I probably would have made some unwise decisions.

The new me did a few things.  Read More »



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November 4, 2016--Crossing the Continental Divide (Both Literally and Metaphorically)


May 13, 2016-Are You Embracing Your Goo?

April 6, 2016--Micromanagement is Good Management


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